Warrior

 

 

I realized in one of my previous posts about Warrior Women, I mentioned that I might get a tattoo one day. Well, I finally did it.  Three weeks ago, I went and got it done. It’s over my heart, on the left side of my upper chest. I had to overcome all the “societal” and “parental” stigmas about getting a tattoo. (I grew up being taught that they are not “nice”.)

Well, I don’t think I am “nice” anymore. I am pleasant, well mannered and  polite but I don’t stand silently for any kind of abuse or human injustice anymore. I have become the Warrior. And you know what? It feels really really good. I recently had to chuckle inwardly a bit because I don’t think the men I was in abusive relationships with ever thought or dreamed that their little “mouse” would become a roaring “lion” but I am getting there.

The Warrior Woman knows how to stand up for herself. She also stands up for others who have no voice. The children. The elderly. Animals. The planet. And anyone on the planet who is suffering from injustices. She has found her voice and she knows how to use it. She is not ashamed of her trials because they’ve made her who she is today……..a strong, independent woman. I frequently say that I LOVE who I have become and I really do. My trials have been hell, they really have. I’ve had a LOT of “bad” days. I’ve had three relationships from hell. I made bad choices. But I have learned so much. And I have become the Warrior Woman.

And it’s all good. Nobody has to like me and it doesn’t matter anymore. While it’s great to have lots of friends, I’ve shown myself that I don’t need them. I can survive betrayal. I have come to enjoy my own company. It’s lovely liberation. I walk proud these days with my head held high. I still battle PTSD at times and last week I cried a river when my beloved cat passed away. I still freak out about financial issues. And every now and then I get triggered from all the past shit. But deep inside I know I’ve come this far, and I have survived this much and I know that I will be just fine.

I wish for all of you that you come to know just how strong you really are. That you understand that you do not need a man in your life to survive, and especially, not a man who disrespects you in any way, shape or form. I wish for all of you that you find your beautiful Warrior Goddess self.

This hangs on my bathroom mirror:

“Woman, I am calling to you

Come, Warrioress

Your Spirit cannot be broken,

Rise to your power, woman

You are Goddess Divine!! ”  (by Nirvani Teasley)

 

With Courage and love,

Olivia Rose

You can connect with me or send a donation via Pay Pal at Olivia.Rose2015@yahoo.com or on Facebook at :  https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Journey-of-Olivia-Rose/1632375906981319?fref=ts

Transformation

Something transformative is happening and I hope you are all feeling it as well. I am waking up to the truth of who I really am. I am waking up to truths about people around me. At times it’s exhilarating and at times it can be a little shocking as you see the true colors of people who you thought you knew (and you thought they cared about you). It’s been a very wild week, to say the least.

Since the narcissist/sociopath caused me to lose the majority of my friends and also many clients (and my current work has suffered greatly because of it and I am now having severe financial problems) , I am waking up to broader possibilities with my life.  Ever since I was married many, many years ago to an abusive man, I have wanted to help empower women. I guess it got put on the back burner until now (and it took me falling into two more abusive relationships). But now, as we are entering a new paradigm, a new era in our personal as well as collective history, I feel that the time has come to start speaking out and doing the work that my heart feels called to do. I’m not quite sure yet how it’s all going to manifest, but I have some ideas.

It takes a LOT of courage. Because I am realizing that at least two of the men who were abusive to me are still hoovering. One, with his family and the other with his friends. People think we’re crazy when we say we think they are still watching us, but, trust me, I know for a fact that they are. It carries some inherent danger. I know the last man did not like being outed as an abuser and so he did his best to destroy me……and he did destroy my reputation and my standing in the community to protect himself. What he didn’t know was that he did not destroy my spirit……..my spirit has only become stronger and stronger. I’ve also realized that certain family members have been extremely abusive to other family members (and to myself). How do you live in denial for the entirely of your life up until now? I did. But now I see it glaringly. So that’s another consideration, when you start speaking out from your heart and the people who were involved are still in your life. Courage. It takes courage. But, for me, right now, it feels good, it feels like the right thing to do.  (Please note, I would never suggest to anyone that you do anything that would put you into danger.) (And I also do not ever mention names or even the type of relationship it is/was.)

It has taken me a couple of years to arrive at this place of empowerment. I cannot explain what has happened but it has become easy for me to walk away from people who are not treating me respectfully. I walked away from two people last week who had been in my life for many, many years. At the same time though, God or the Universe, or whatever you prefer to call it, sends us good people. I met someone (also last week) who is so unbelievably kind that it blew my mind. I realized that I have gotten “used to” assholes. It shouldn’t be that way, we should never get “used to” being treated badly. We all deserve to be treated with respect and dignity and kindness. It’s very simple for me now. If you have no respect for me, I walk away. And amazingly I haven’t really missed the ones I walked away from.

I am looking forward to doing work to empower women. All women but especially very young women who did not grow up in an environment where self worth was fostered. If I can help prevent one young woman from entering into an abusive relationship, then I have done my job. If I can empower one woman to take back her life and find her strength and courage AFTER an abusive relationship, then I have done my job.  I have been asking Mother/Father God to show me what the next step on this journey is.

Bless all of you who are exiting an abusive relationship, those who are trying to recover, those who are teaching and empowering other women. Bless you all. May you continue to be strong and shine bright as the beautiful lights that you are.

Olivia Rose

Connect with me at Olivia.Rose2015@yahoo.com If you feel moved to support my work, you can send a donation via pay pal to the above address. You can also connect with me on Facebook at  https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Journey-of-Olivia-Rose/1632375906981319?fref=ts